Shannon Beador is 60 years old, and she’s finally learning how to fight back. After years of being a Bravo-branded punching bag, Ms. Storms Beador has taken charge on The Real Housewives of Orange County—and her first order of action is snatching Alexis Bellino’s orange by declining her entry to London.
That’s right, the meta world of Housewives keeps getting more self-aware, as you could practically see the dream of being a full-time cast member slip away from Alexis this week. It turns out there may be a friend-of more humiliated than Salt Lake City star Britani, who at least got to attend the cast trip.
Shannon’s birthday blessings are real. She’s even escaped Tamra’s wrath just in time for the Judge to indict Jenn and Ryan of the federal crime of going on a podcast. The episode picks up where we left off with Tamra storming out of Katie’s dinner party, while the host follows her.
Before she can drive off, Tamra tells Katie how “dee-scusting” Ryan is, referencing the FBI inquiry into him over alleged bookie behavior for MLB player Shotei Ohtani.
“There’s an account on Instagram that broke down everything,” Tamra says in a confessional. Believe it or not, you can read about it in real newspapers too! Maybe if Tamra had done that, she wouldn’t have accidentally said a bit too much on Watch What Happens Live, causing Ryan to allegedly send her a cease and desist.
But hey, it’s funnier this way, isn’t it?
The ripple effects of the dinner are major. Jenn and Tamra have spent the entire season moving past their petty squabbles of yesteryear, only for Tamra to scorch it all in one fell swoop. This time, Jenn has reached the point of no return, and the midseason trailer promised us plenty more drama between the two.
(l-r) Alexis Bellino and Gina Kirschenheiter.
Casey Durkin/Bravo
It’s after Tamra leaves that Ryan’s shadiness becomes even more clear, though. Leave it to lawyer Emily to ask some real questions that expose just how obviously he’s a grifter. Tamra is her own worst enemy, and her method of being so destructive isn’t worth it with Ryan, who just needs to be handed a rope. He’ll do the rest.
With the drama of the dinner party shaken off, Heather and Katie take Shannon furniture shopping for her birthday. It’s a classic filler scene until you remember that Heather and Katie previously hated each other and this is the first cordial moment they’ve ever had. Hell hasn’t necessarily frozen over, but it’s gotten considerably colder.
Here, Katie rehashes the past night to Heather and Shannon, while Emily does the same to Gina. It’s notable that Tamra also filmed a scene rehashing things with Gina, which was only included in a flashback. We’re in the age of the Tamra Judge villain edit, something many have prayed for for years.
Tamra’s role in this group has totally destabilized. Her allyship to Heather is the only thing keeping her safe from a total takedown, but Heather has her own problems to worry about. For one, she’s lost trust in her own biggest ally: Gina.
It’s hardly focused on this week, but Heather has done it again. She has sent another pitch perfect text admonishing a co-star. No one does it like her.
Heather is “incredibly upset on so many levels” with Gina, but rather than talk it out, she’s practicing the ancient art of passive aggression. Heather loves a little psychological warfare, and the brewing tension between the two is certain to boil over soon. Until then, Gina just has to live in fear.
Meanwhile, Katie finally gets some much-needed solo footage. Out to dinner with her family, we learn that she’s planning a trip to Korea to meet her birth mother. This would have been great information to have early in the season, rather than focusing too heavily on the Heather vs. Katie drama without properly introducing Katie. Better late than never, though!
Next, the ladies celebrate Shannon’s birthday with an elegant tea party. Before they can do that, Heather pushes Emily to have a one-on-one chat to finally squash their beef. The two have the same conversation they’ve been having for three weeks, but this time, they actually make peace. Thank God. As understandable as Emily’s issue is, we can’t carry this storyline over to London.
Shannon’s ethereal birthday aura has healing powers. Even Tamra offers Jenn an apology. It’s totally from the bottom of her heart and won’t be contradicted by Tamra’s vicious behavior going forward. For sure.
Although it’s Shannon’s birthday, she’s the one giving out presents (with the exception of Emily, who gifts Shannon a boudoir photo). The ladies are going to London! Well, the full-time Housewives are going to London. Alexis Bellino is not invited on the cast trip, despite her best efforts to worm her way in.
Jesus Jugs sends Shannon a threatening flower arrangement, previously popularized by Margaret Josephs of New Jersey. I do love this new era of sending passive aggressive flowers to your sparring partner.
Included is a literal olive branch, and a letter wishing Shannon “happiness and good health.” We all know the best way to wish people good health is to inundate them with a financially and emotionally draining lawsuit while trying to steal all their friends, of course.
Unsurprisingly, Shannon isn’t moved at all by the peace offering. Rather, she feels the whole thing is a result of John’s puppet mastering, which is probably true. She drafts a text to Alexis making it very clear the cast trip does not include her. What that really means is: You are not a Housewife, now or ever.
While Shannon doesn’t truly have the power to make casting decisions, she does have enough leverage that it’s plausible production let her host the trip as a thank you for being a good sport all season. Very few would film with their ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend amid all this drama, and although Alexis was announced as a friend, it’s clear she’s vying for a more permanent role.
In the spirit of friendship (and good TV), Katie and Jenn urge Shannon to hold off sending the text, as they want to soften the blow in person. The ladies organize a newbies summit at Alexis’ house to formally let Alexis know that Katie got an orange, Alexis didn’t, and the group aren’t likely to move forward with her.
It’s so overt, they might as well have had producers tell her. But it’s endearing watching Alexis ask why they can’t move forward, bewildered. This woman is not sinister. She’s just not that smart. She’s also spent the majority of this season on an emotional rollercoaster, one that has left the cast walking on eggshells.
The fear in Katie and Jenn’s eyes as they tell Alexis to check her phone is so palpable. Despite their advice, Shannon sent the text just as it was written. Good for her, really. I imagine she had a good laugh watching Alexis’ face drop reading it. Ultimately, Alexis only has herself to blame for ending up in this position—well, and Johnny J.
The infamous John—who has consistently claimed he doesn’t want to be on TV—gets a confessional this week. It’s a real jumpscare. Here, he claims “his hands were tied” and he had to sue Shannon. He also says “Shannon has an interesting relationship with the truth.”
That latter statement is true, but it’s hard for John to play the victim when he rebuffed Shannon’s settlement offer simply because he refused to sign a mutual non-disparagement agreement. It’s clear why he did that, given here he is, disparaging her.
Poor Alexis doesn’t realize that if a man will do this to his ex, he’ll do it to her, too. As she kicks out Jenn and Katie and runs upstairs in a pit of tears, it’s hard not to feel bad. She’s going to need a fantastic reunion to salvage her standing, and pissing off the fellow newbies wasn’t the best course of action. I mean, if you’ve irritated impervious Jenn, you’re not killing it.
Next week, the Housewives arrive in London, where Tamra finally reignites her feud with Shannon. And hopefully, Gina leaves her horrific British accent confessionals in America. I’m not strong enough for another.
